Doubt

In doubt whether to do a stupid thing, if the result is positive, its all good then, but if its negative... Can anyone tell me what am I suppose to do??? This could be the last and final chance I can finally speak to her again, and that is why I don't want to waste it.
But then again, what is the point to go through all that trouble for nothing. people say I am a rash and hasty person, am I? I don't think so, but I am going to prove to everyone this time, that I will consider it very carefully first...
I never realise how much I really miss her, just seeing her typed message, make me feel a pang of sadness. Only now, do I realise how much I really care about her and miss her. Am I going to take a gamble, and risk it all? I have nothing to lose, just I will never see her online ever again, forever!!!
What am I rambling about, I am seriously confuse, the best medicine is a good talk with her, though I wonder if I will get that chance... Life is so hard, why does she have to make it all so complicated, why is she so sensitive and touchy?
But most importantly, why do I care about her so much???!!! Its already been 3 months, why couldn't I just couldn't get over her and move on??? Why??? Its killing me, seriously, it is, I am going crazy soon... Why am I so greedy? isn't hf enough? Why am I using so many whys?